Day 29- OCD: Breaking Out of Isolation - Creating Something New
1:40 AM
Here I am concluding the self-forgiveness on the point
of living within and as isolation due to a fear of speaking up and reaching out
to connect to others. Please read the first three parts of this process for
context: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
never develop a supportive relationship with myself, showing myself my own worth through my
actions and comportment towards myself, but instead I have neglected myself,
abandoned myself for the energy of the mind, and only judged myself, being hard
on myself and beating myself up.
When and as I see that I am going into an energy of
self-sabotage (I’m not god enough/I can’t do this/I don’t have the energy/it’s
not worth it/I’ll fail anyways) I stop, and I breathe. I bring myself back to
self-worth by stopping my actions and thoughts in that moment, and instead
doing something nice and supportive to/towards myself. I remind myself that, so
long as I am alive, it is not too late to be good to myself, to support myself,
and to show myself that I am Here for me.
I commit myself to diminish self-sabotage, and
increase self-support in my life until
all that is left is the self-support as Who I Am as Life.
I commit myself to honour and cherish myself.
The above, and in the past three blogs, are all words on a screen, however, these
words exist within me. Because I went inside and found what it is I want to live
and express from now on, I described the experience in words, I brought the
words forth and put them on to a screen, and I read them again. I read these
words TO myself AS myself, thus I have spoken and listened. I have HEARD these
words, and the process of writing out the point has had an effect on me. I
have had an effect on me. I have influenced me. I
have challenged myself to see, do and be differently. I have taken an active
role in creating myself as Who and How I want to be.
The effect of the practical application of these words
has been laying the foundations of self-worth, self-care, and self-support, as well as a more dynamic self-experience. Because I value myself, I have shared myself, I have put
myself ‘out there’, and I am receiving different feedback, reactions and
perspectives from others; things I would not have otherwise considered. Because I see myself as worthy, I am
connecting to others, I’m expanding and growing, I’m learning, I’m finding
solutions and pushing for them. Because I am supporting myself, I am allowing myself a voice and having an effect on my reality.
This, to me, is pushing towards really living; and to answer the questions I
asked at the beginning:
"Is being held back by fears worth not fully living? Am I prepared to look back on it all, and among all the ups and downs and experiences, feel an underlying theme of regret? Am I not brave enough to live as an equal to others and all that is Here? Will I accept and allow my own self-judgment lead me to live a life of unworthiness?"
The answer is an abounding YES! It is ALL worth it, because I am worth it.
"Is being held back by fears worth not fully living? Am I prepared to look back on it all, and among all the ups and downs and experiences, feel an underlying theme of regret? Am I not brave enough to live as an equal to others and all that is Here? Will I accept and allow my own self-judgment lead me to live a life of unworthiness?"
The answer is an abounding YES! It is ALL worth it, because I am worth it.
If you would like to teach yourself how to find the answer to yourself within yourself, check out DIP Lite, a free online course. I have found this course amazingly supportive, teaching one discernment when it come to what we accept and allow to go on in our minds, and how to direct it to where we want it to be. Did I mention it's free? Give it a try cause there is nothing to lose, and join in the walk to freedom. - See more at: http://dermotillomaniatolife.blo
1 comments
THANK YOU for this. Can very much relate to the point of isolation and not allowing/developing supportive relationships
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